Living and Dying

It’s been months since our last Newsletter, so this is an attempt to update friends and fans of Marty on what’s been going on with him.

There are health issues he’s dealing with and learning how to manage. Marty always says that to manage something, you have to understand it. So, with Mary Ellen, he works hard at understanding those medical issues and doing the right things to stay on top of them.

Jokingly, Marty says he’s “not ready to pack it in yet,” but he is well aware that, at 91, anything can happen at any time. A lot of things have happened to Marty these past few months. When bouts of dizziness and breathing difficulties worsened, he wondered, “Is this it?”

Then, on October 11, in the middle of the night, Marty told Mary Ellen to call an ambulance. That was not something he would normally do, so Mary Ellen was more than worried. She accompanied him to the hospital, where he stayed until October 17. After escaping Covid till then, Marty was diagnosed with Covid Pneumonia and was not in good shape. At the same time, Mary Ellen tested positive with a home test. The whole week was quite an ordeal. Mary Ellen spent two nights without any sleep. She had to go get her car and bring it back and they wouldn’t let her in to see Marty initially. He went from the ED to an ICU step-down unit, then to the cardiac floor. Again, Marty wondered at times, “Is this it?”

Marty took a week off to gain some strength after the hospital stay, and then he was back teaching tennis again. Yes, it takes a lot to hold Marty down!

“I’m not quitting,” said Marty. “I don’t care how bad it is, I see good. I continue to live my life, not my age.”

Marty beat Covid, but he is still living with the effects of it and visiting doctors to see what more can be done for his ongoing heart problems. Teaching takes up most of  his energy; the rest of the time he’s resting and sleeping  when he can and doing his exercises. He doesn’t have the strength to do the work around the house that he thought he would do when he got older, but he’s doing what he can. 

He loves Sundays, when he and Mary Ellen go to their daughter Tara’s place. He is spending more time with his grandkids and teaching them his principles. He even has new nicknames for them: Big Trish and Gummy Bear have been replaced by Mermaid and Coach.

“I’m beginning to really understand about caring and empathy and sensitivity and awareness and compassion and listening. I didn’t have that when my kids were growing up. I continue to learn.”

Marty is well taken care of. Mary Ellen drives him everywhere. In fact, they sold his maroon truck.

The most difficult thing about aging for him is that he can’t do what he did when he when he was 21. “That kills me. I did all those things till I was probably 85, and it’s been tough since.”

“All I know is that I’ve led the best life I could possibly live. I’m helping people. I’m fostering good values all day long every day. I’m making an impact wherever I go. That’s what religion should be about.”

Marty talks candidly about both living and dying. “I like the idea of lying in that damn cemetery with that beautiful sun. After all, there’s a point in time when you are going to want to die. When life is no good.”

It’s easy for Marty to talk about these things now. Reflecting on his eventful life and his feelings about the end of life and about conversations with his doctor, “We have a game plan,” he said. But for Marty, life is more than just being alive.

“I’m going to keep going.”

Stay tuned for more newsletters delving more into Marty’s recent experiences.

Ann LoPrinzi