Ol’ Buddy’s Street-Smart Language

I spent five years of my life trying to get a proper and formal college education. Part of that was learning to speak and write properly.

College taught me that there is a norm and civility as to language use, and a how and a when. In general, college graduates prefer speakers to talk slowly so they can dwell on the meaning of words. College graduates also like the exact or denoted meaning of the word. Non-college graduates prefer the flavor of the message. 

Here’s another way to look at it—college graduates prefer the denotative meaning of words. Ol’ Buddy’s language is more connotative. It stretches the meaning of words to the point of exaggeration. Focusing on the flavor of the message allows me to speak at a faster pace. My audiences can listen to 1,000 words a minute because my language is connotative.

In retrospect, I wish I could have learned every word in the dictionary, their denotative meanings, and how and when to use them. Also, I wish I had learned to write and spell better. Still, the flavor of the message has a power to it.

I spent 67 years learning on the street. My street is not the ghetto. It’s the street of my own lived-in world. Both college and the street shaped my personality and life. It made me wiser than an old owl. My street-smart language, my humor, and off-the-wall sayings come from my personality and my crazy life experiences. Isn’t life supposed to be fun!

I’ve become known for my language and sayings. They’ve been called “Martyisms.” When my book comes out, you’ll be able to see more of them and learn how and why I use them. In the meantime, here is a sampling.

Cheese and Crackers!
I remember a Catholic priest chastising me for using the words because he interpreted cheese and crackers as taking the Lord’s name in vain. I really listened to the priest. I use the expression every day!

If I meet a big powerful looking man:

You could hunt bear with a switch.

When I’m asked How are you doing? I say —
I’m awesome because every day is a day of festivities, pageantry, revelry, and splendor.
You can’t believe how often I use this expression of words that I learned at a horse-filled and finger-eatin’ Medieval times event in California.

I have a student, a great senior right-handed player who has been dramatically choking up on her racket. She has been doing it:
Since Moby Dick was a guppy or since she was knee high to a grasshopper.
Many of my cliches are interchangeable.

I’ll remind an out-of-control adolescent (and their parents!):
Adolescence is the battleground for revolutionary transformation.

My son Kyle has a new puppy:
It runs around his living room like it’s got a motor up its butt butt.

Dave Feherty, mostly associated with the Golf Channel, has some beauts that I use and love. A downpour of rain he refers to as A frog-strangling rain and lightning is a cosmic crackle.

After warming up a group of tennis players, I’ll ask them:
Are you ready for battle time? Time to stir the blood and go to the swearing!

Have some favorite Martyisms or some connotative expressions of your own? Send them in!